Here again there comes to us news of another school shooting. Two dead this time, both kids. That comes right on the heels of a psychotic right-wing couple killing two cops, both of whom were young and nice looking and had wives and kids.
Then they killed that concealed-carry guy who tried to help the cops, which totally blew a hole in most of my fantasies about being the hero. Which came right after that guy with a shotgun opening up on students at a Christian college.
And then I think there was one before that, with the rich Youtube kid who hated women, and another one, maybe, but I kind of forget.
Dear Lord Jesus, they're getting to be something of a blur.
It just feels so relentless, so oppressive, and it feels like something has become more deeply wrong. The world is broken, and I want you in your Glorious Power to just do something about it.
Heavenly Father, can you please space them out just a little bit more, or something? I'd adapted to the previous schedule, but this is getting to be annoying. It's getting me down, and making me not feel good about myself. And how can I prosper and be blessed by You if I'm not feeling good about myself as your beloved child?
You know my heart, Lord. I have no intention of making the changes that would stop this from happening, because, well, I don't want to. I've already accepted your Son as my Lord and Savior, and as pastor says, that's all I need.
But when these killings come so close and so fast, Father God, it's much much harder for me to tune out.
I want to blame violence in movies, but of course, I thought Captain America: Winter Soldier was pretty freakin' awesome, and I haven't seen that wild new Tom Cruise alien flick yet, so please, Lord, don't change that. I know I've got the right to have a gun without any regulation or training or significant safety measures, because your son Jesus said so right there in the Constitution. I want to blame violent video games, or crazy people, or anything other than just having a whole bunch of guns just lying around everywhere in a snarling, selfish society that has lost its way.
I'd blame Benghazi, but I can't for the life of me figure out how to make that work. Don't think I haven't tried.
Honestly? I don't want to even have to think about it, and there it is every single day.
So maybe if you could, Father God, just, you know, just put the shootings back on schedule so that it's every other month or something. We'd pretend to be sad, and say now is not the time because it would be disrespectful in a time of loss, and forget, and go back to watching Duck Dynasty.
I realize that I cannot tell you what to do, because you are the Almighty God, the Alpha and the Omega, a Consuming Fire. So if you don't want to change the predestined shootings, maybe you could, just, do something simpler?
Change my heart, Lord. Turn me, Lord. Set me to repentance.
Turn me so I just don't have to see anything about it at all. Guide me with your Holy Spirit, so that I never watch the news and so that all of my Facebook friends only post about kittens and little kids getting up in front of the judges and OMG-You-Won't-Believe-What-Happened-Next.
Maybe throw in a dancing grandma or two, because old people are funny, especially when they do crazy stuff that doesn't make me think about how much getting old in America sucks.
Or maybe keep me angry about far away things that I can't do anything about. Or obsessed about some person or group that makes me uncomfortable, because it's just so much easier to justify my inaction.
So there's my prayer, Father God. If you could, just, make one of those things happen, that would be such a blessing on my heart.
In the name of Jesus I pray,
AMEN
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