Glo and the Word

That I have the title "Pastor" means that I am a fat tasty demographic target for products and services targeted to Jesus people. Whenever a new Vacation Bible School or seminar or Big Venue Revival comes churning out of the factories of AmeriChrist, Inc., I'm on their list to get a heads up. Promotional materials and glossy brochures show up on my desk regularly.

Most I just ignore and drop into my recycling bin, from whence they are removed, transported to an industrial facility, pulped, reconstituted into paper, sold, printed upon, and transported back to my mail box, from where they are put right back into the recycling. It's sorta like the Circle of Life, only with less blood and considerably less purpose.

Sometimes, though, a new Jesus product strikes my eye. That thing is the new Glo Bible. What is striking about this AmeriChrist offering is just how intensely awesome the buzz around it is. It isn't just appearing in my in-box. I've read articles about it in the Washington Post. Fast Company, the ne plus ultra outlet of corporate hipness, featured it. It's a big deal, by any product standard.

The purpose of the Glo Bible is, according to its creators, to make the Bible accessible to a generation that doesn't like paper. Or, for that matter, anything that is just text. It's computer-based and "multimedia," meaning the text is supplemented by a vast array of images and videos, all in HD. Having reviewed their extensive promotional material, I have both positive and negative reactions.

First, the positive. Glo has a crazy awesome interface. It's as slickity slick as they come. It seems intuitive, elegantly designed, and bustin' chock full of shiny shiny goodness. Seamless transitions between menus and texts are brilliantly presented and animated. Videos and images and walkthroughs are seriously purty. The whole package glistens and sparkles. I've used online Bibles and computer based Bible software packages since the dawn of the computer era, and this is far and away the most impressive eye candy e-Bible I've yet seen. Of course, you need a high-end computer to run it, but we Jesus people are always willing to plunk down another 1,500 bucks to really explore God's Word.

But it ain't just a pretty face. It's an NIV, meaning the translation has integrity. It's got what appear to be lay-accessible but well-crafted study guides. It's got a vast array of "helps," including the capacity to pitch out scriptures that match your mood for the day. It tracks everything you read, every response you have, charting your spiritual progress. It feels very practical. Very efficient.

Now, to the flip side. Honestly, something about it feels spiritually off. In one of the elegantly produced promo videos, a soothing, non-threatening woman's voice describes the intuitive navigation through Glo. It is, she hums, so very easy to explore content in the product. The words "exploring content in the product" just...well...they stick in my craw.

I know, I know. They're just trying to sound corporate-cutting-edge. Very professional. Very businesslike. Very competent. But that sort of terminology has pretty much nothing to do with the way that the Bible needs to be experienced if we're using it the way it is intended. The Bible is a collection of ancient stories that illuminate our experience of God. They are a sacred narrative, a story in which we participate and through which we are transformed. When we begin to think of our interactions with those texts as interactions with "content" and "product," something is badly wrong.

I also struggle with the way in which Glo is structured. It is what it promises to be. It's a Bible that is radically in step with our culture. Finding the heart of Christ in the Bible is like being changed by the hearing of a story told by a master storyteller. You have to learn to sit still. To listen. To reflect. To think.

But Glo encourages flitting across the surface of the text, reading a verse here that responds to a key-word, and then looking at a picture, and then watching a bit of video, and then flitting back again to another verse. While it could be a useful tool in the hands of the spiritually mature, it panders to low-attention span Christianity. Rather than encouraging patience, and developing a mindset that is open to taking time with a text, it could easily serve up more of the churning, endlessly distracted, click-and-scroll busyness that is the enemy of contemplation and reflection and spiritual growth.

Glo is, without question, what we want. But I am not at all sure it is what we need.

Should you get Glo? Maybe. It's certainly an amazing product, made by some really creative people. It is certainly cool. It might be fun to play with. Assuming, of course, you don't use a Mac, 'cause it ain't Mac compatible.

Ah well. Guess I'm out of luck.

So, To My...Hair

Watching the recent Senate confirmation hearings of Judge Sonia Sotomayor, I've noticed an particularly important distinction between her and many of her questioners. Most of the progressive world has fixated on the fact that she is Latina, and they are white males. They have also noticed that she is, in fact, female, whereas they are males of the species. These are important differences.

What I notice, though, is that most of the Senators...the men, that is, and that still means "most"...have silver or grey hair. Judge Sotomayor has lustrous raven locks. It's night and day, ebony and ivory, living together in perfect hairmony. I'm so, so sorry. My pending vacation has addled my brain.

Whether that comes from genetics or a product entitled "Lustrous Raven," it...err..highlights...the painful truth about women, power, and hair. To have power in our culture, women must be young, or give the appearance of youth.

We males are permitted to show signs of age. While the gut that I so carefully cultivate is not viewed quite so positively, the traces of white that are popping out in my beard are a different story. Those first streaks of salt in our hair...assuming we have the good fortune to still have hair...indicate maturity and wisdom. They are also, Grecian Formula's efforts to the contrary notwithstanding, a sign of social status. Men who color their hair are trying too hard to be young, and if they're trying to be young, they must not have achieved status now. Silverback human males are at the apogee of their power in the culture.

Women, on the other hand, must be young, because a woman's power in our society is radically defined by her sexuality/nubility. Every image that pours from magazines and screens reinforces this, and women, who tend to define themselves by social expectation even more deeply than men, internalize this. They cannot be Georgia O'Keefe. They must be the Wonder Girls. Or at least Sarah Palin.

Age...the very thing that gives a woman wisdom and depth of knowledge...cannot be admitted. It must be hidden. Even women who have achieved positions of significant leadership feel the compulsion to carefully apply product. Why can't the Speaker of the House have her natural hair color? Why does the Secretary of State feel a societal obligation to wash that gray right out of her hair?

In large part, it's because a woman in our highly sexualized consumer culture is valued primarily by her ability to stir male desire. The depth of knowledge found in our grandmothers? Nah. We never see Grandma. We have Grandma stowed away in Soylente Greene Village, the Organic Retirement Community for FreeRange Seniors. The strong mature woman whose years have been filled with hard-earned wisdom about life and work and the world? She creeps us out, because she's all old and, like, nott hott and stuffz, ewwww.

Way I figure it, America will be ready for a woman as president when we've somehow managed to work this sickness out of our system. We don't appear to be there quite yet.