Leader: On this day, we honor the suffering and horror of all those who have endured. On this day, we raise up those who have been oppressed and broken. On this day, we hear the voices of those who have been made to feel harmed and unsafe by motherhood.
UNISON: Motherhood, the most monstrous of things. Motherhood, the source of all suffering. Motherhood, which creates all injustice and bitterness and every form of sorrow.
Leader: Today we remember the ones responsible for hurting us in every possible way, the Moms. Hear our prayer.
Response: Hear our prayer.
Leader: For those whose moms were working, and therefore were not there enough and when they were they were too tired to be really present and didn't show up those two times to our recitals because she had "deadlines to meet," and there was "a mortgage to pay," which has meant a lifetime of therapy,
Response: Hear our prayer.
Leader: For those whose mothers stayed home cleaning and cooking, thereby failing to show us what it means to be an economically empowered and independent person, which is entirely why we can't manage to find and keep a job and also has meant a lifetime of therapy,
Response: Hear our prayer.
Leader: For those whose mothers tried to do both, and really couldn't, and were so fried and frazzled in their anxious efforts to be everything to everyone that they passed their anxiety on to us like some sort of horrible paralyzing virus, except when they were engaging in wine-based "self-care," which is also a just super healthy habit they passed along,
Response: Hear our prayer.
Leader: For those whose mothers tried to do both, and were great at it, and were there for us and positive and amazing, and they even made those little decorated notes for every single perfectly nutritious and flavorful packed lunch, and they were always funny and creative and heartfelt and nobody can ever possibly live up to that standard and they're the reason we're a total mess and never feel good about ourselves,
Response: Hear our prayer.
Leader: I mean, really, those notes were too much. Who does that?
Response: I know, right?
Leader: It's like, she's just so Martha Stewart, I mean, she goes from being perfect to being both perfect and an ex-con who chills with Snoop Dogg, and it's like, now you're even MORE perfect, and...sorry. I'm getting off topic.
Response: You are. It's OK. Hear our prayer.
Leader: For those whose moms had a network of adult friends both old and new, with whom they laughed and enjoyed life and we totally felt ignored and othered and excluded like we didn't matter to them at all,
Response: Hear our prayer.
Leader: For those whose moms devoted their whole lives to us, like we were the center of their universe and who can handle that kind of desperate, needy, smothering attention,
Response: Hear our prayer.
Leader: For those who had complicated relationships with their mothers stemming from that time she said that thing, and totally didn't adequately apologize, and really she should have known that weak and slightly passive aggressive "apology" was inadequate even though we didn't tell her directly how much the thing she was apologizing for hurt us,
Response: Hear our prayer.
Leader: For Loretta,
Response: For Loretta?
Leader: Remember, Loretta, from that scene in Monty Python's Life of Brian, People's Front of Judea?
Response: Oh, right, that Loretta.
Leader: For Loretta, who has the right to have babies, and shouldn't be made to feel ashamed of her right to have babies or mocked for articulating her chosen gender identity, how dare you, John Cleese, how dare you,
Response: Hear our prayer.
Leader: For those mothers who divorced, and I don't care why you did it, can't you see that messed me up and now I can't really ever trust another person ever again,
Response: Hear our prayer.
Leader: For those mothers who stayed with Dad even though things got hard, and now every time it doesn't work out I feel more and more unworthy as a person and I just know you're judging me even though you always say you're not,
Response: Hear our prayer.
Leader: For those mothers who are still alive, and it's like they expect us to be there for them all the time and I mean, we're our own person, and we're busy, and I've got too much going on right now at work to want to hear you tell me about your life for a whole half hour every week,
Response: Hear our prayer.
Leader: For those mothers who've died, because how could you leave us, you can't ever leave us, god we miss you and it hurts because when I say there wasn't enough time I know that's kind of on me and now I feel guilty, and that's your fault,
Response: Hear our prayer.
Leader: And for every other way that mothers and motherhood are responsible for every terrible thing, including that specific way that your particular mother hurt you to make this the Darkest of All Days,
Response: Hear our prayer.
Leader: And let the people say,
UNISON: AMEN.
STREPITUS, all leave in silence.
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