Wednesday, April 7, 2010

VA Gov. McDonnell Declares May Genetic Health Month

Free United News Network
Richmond, VA
April 7, 2010

Following his recent and controversial declaration that April is Confederate History Month, an announcment which intentionally did not reference slavery, Virginia Gov. Robert McDonnell (R) has declared the month of May Genetic Health Month.

In an address to the Virginia Genetic Health League yesterday, Governor McDonnell praised the state's pathbreaking work in optimizing the genome of it's residents. "Virginia has a strong history of encouraging our citizens to strive for genetic excellence," said McDonnell. "The Racial Integrity Act of 1924 expressed some of the best aspects of the Virginian spirit. It showed that our state is willing to be on the cutting edge of technological advances. That's why we're such a great place to do business. It also shows that we're deeply and passionately committed to eradicating the defects in our genome that now place such an undue financial burden on our health care system. Better genes mean lower taxes, and more money in the pockets of Virginians in these challenging times."

Some critics argue that Virginia's early 20th century commitment to eugenics and it's forced sterilization of those deemed genetically unfit was a violation of basic human rights. Reached for comment at the Virginia Genetic Health League's headquarters in Charlottesville, Dr. Charles Shifflett-Mengele III strongly disagrees. "As we learn more and more about the human genome, we're increasingly aware that it plays a powerful role in the economic success our society, " said Shifflett-Mengele. "Virginia was a pioneer in the field of practical genetics. Our efforts were a model for the global movement for a healthy genome, drawing in experts from Europe who were eager to put that model to work on a larger scale. Virginia had an impressive record of success in combating genetic disorders like Down syndrome, hemophilia, Turner syndrome, and blackness. It's one of the proudest chapters in Virginia history."

During a question and answer session following his Tuesday speech, Gov. McDonnell also responded to his critics. "There was so much more to eugenics than forced sterilization. I'd prefer to focus the month of May on the positive aspects, like hope and progress and the genetic health of our grandchildren and great grandchildren. Those are the things that all Virginians care about as we celebrate this unique and important part of our state heritage."

McDonnell's announcement comes following the 86th anniversary of the passage of the Racial Integrity Act, which was remembered with a parade of healthy white children in Richmond last month.


  1. "Virginia has a strong history of encouraging our citizens to strive for genetic excellence," or does this mean...Virginia will improve it’s genome by requesting that cousins attending family reunions refrain from becoming ‘frisky’ with each other.

  2. If I was black I would leave the state as quickly as possible! Does this guy even know the connection to racism and segregation? Or did he just miss the fact that a lot of tubes were tied in young black women?

  3. "Dr. Charles Shifflett-Mengele III" as in Dr. Josef Mengele?

    Of the infamous Nazi eugenics experiments? Oh common.

    I am sure this is an April fools joke.

  4. Jodie

    Were I African American I would not find it amusing.

  5. I don't think its amusing either. The man is exhibiting a very disturbing pattern of behavior.

    But to have a Dr Mengele back up his defense of eugenics and then to even say that Virginia should be proud because "Virginia had an impressive record of success in combating genetic disorders like Down syndrome, hemophilia, Turner syndrome, and blackness"

    It can't be real. There is a living breathing Dr Mengele who says Blackness is a genetic disorder?

    I mean, did we suddenly slip into a parallel universe? What the hell just happened?

  6. @Jodie/Bob: Jodie's correct. It's parody. Satire. An entirely faux news report, one inspired by McDonnell's rather impressive declaration of support for the Confederacy, which...until he retreated following a firestorm of protest...did not even reference slavery, and presented the Confederate cause as essentially correct.

    I figured, why not surface another less-than-amazing aspect of Virginia history, and see how it sounded if you transposed it. It doesn't sound good.

  7. Like I said on facebook (I can post!) this was a great read. You need to submit a collection of your satire to The Onion or maybe ,better yet, The Wittenburg Door.

    By the way, don't forget to include Margaret Sanger in that list of individuals in love with eugenics. There is no convincing argument for the idea that eugenics is 'right' or 'good' to the Christian mindset, whether "liberal", "conservative" or "moderate". It's quite simply, "evil".

    Pastor David, keep that satire coming! ;o)

    By the by, I am sending an email in your direction today.

  8. We, in South Carolina, are getting ready to celebrate the sesquicentennial of the bombardment of Fort Sumter. Yes, we are. No doubt it will be billed as a major tourist draw. After all, the original event did bring an impressive array of Northerners to our state. Hey, business is business!

  9. INTJ humor can sometimes be too subtle...

  10. @ Jodie and Beloved

    Yeah, I went to the news about it and found out it was not about genetics. Or maybe it was. American slavery was about genetics wasn't it? How does a state celebrate a losing cause that was sinful?

    Of course we Scots always celebrate losing causes.

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